I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
