I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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