Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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