Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
