Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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(317): View more from Indiana

its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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(708): View more from Illinois

its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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(217): View more from Illinois

So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america

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(719): View more from Colorado

I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone

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(+32): View more from Belgium

Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.

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