I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
