That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
