What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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