Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
