He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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