Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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