at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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