I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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