dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
