I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
