I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
where does the pee come out of this thing
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
