big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
