a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize