Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
