Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
