Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
