I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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