I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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