Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
