my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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