i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
