ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
