i jhust puked up my retainher.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
