How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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