We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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