Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize