Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
