is your mom at the bar?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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