I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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