i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
