I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
