people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
