I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i drank out of a bidet.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I pour the whiskey from now on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
