I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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