Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
