Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
