im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
