RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
