So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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