if you like me you must not know who I am
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We are two peas in an std pod
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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