A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
