grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize