Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How external is "for external use only"?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
