the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
