Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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