So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
