She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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