those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
