the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
