It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
