Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
