Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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