I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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