My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
