idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
